Stage 1: Satisfaction Mary takes a long, thoughtful sip of her coffee from her favorite mug.
The warm, tingling coffee pours down her throat in a dose of sugary, creamy goodness: caffeine in liquid form.
She lets out a long, contented sigh and feels fortified for the day.
This is so like the preteen stage of growing up--that day you realize it might change soon, and you can drink of the enjoyment in knowing that you'll get to be an adult soon.
The caffeine is bursting out of Mary's veins. While everyone else is dreary, their dark eyes half-shut, Mary is bouncing off the walls, her brain flooded with great ideas and crazy plans and cheese and SO MUCH EXCITEMENT!!!
This is usually the funnest part of the day (to watch and experience, like toppling lunch trays loaded with mac and cheese from gesticulatingly wild arm movements) and may come in waves throughout the day.
This is like the first time you get to stay out late with friends, watch that scary movie, or pierce your ears: it's the embodiment of excitement and the reason you wanted to grow up in the first place.
Mary tries to take notes, but her hand won't stop shaking. Her feet start tingling because they're falling asleep. She has to tap her toes, skip, run, leap, anything!
This is the stage in which Mary cannot concentrate. Her constant need for movement sometimes overlaps the Energy Stage, but the Jitters State is distinctively shaky and frightening.
This is when you realize growing up might be hard work, and you get nervous; there's college, a job, and relationships to worry about that you didn't have to fuss over before.
Much like a dramatic novel, this is the post-happiness part in which everything seems to go terribly wrong. Mary feels rejected, idiotic, confused, and burdensome. She cries or breaks into wild rage often in this stage, creating an almost bi-polar fluctuation between elation and utter despair. "I'm so sorry I am a burden on your life!" "I'm gonna break his neck and then eat his dogs!" and "I've never been so happy!" are exchanged in moments. Withdrawal is probably the case.
This is the stage in which most young adults lose their minds. The pressure is just too much: homework is spewing out your ears, the bills are rolling in faster than the paychecks, and that one loser you dated just dumped you for your best friend.
Mary can breathe again, her combination of tears and the stitch in her side from laughter eased.
This is the stage in which Mary is most likely to pass out.
Finally, this is the part where your mother comes and offers you cookies; you are slowly coaxed from the fetal position in your paralyzed state and remember that life still goes on.
Mary drops by the McFarland House Café and orders a cappuccino. The cycle starts again...
And another young child has to start the crazy metamorphosis all over.
The warm, tingling coffee pours down her throat in a dose of sugary, creamy goodness: caffeine in liquid form.
She lets out a long, contented sigh and feels fortified for the day.
This is so like the preteen stage of growing up--that day you realize it might change soon, and you can drink of the enjoyment in knowing that you'll get to be an adult soon.
Stage 2: Energy
The caffeine is bursting out of Mary's veins. While everyone else is dreary, their dark eyes half-shut, Mary is bouncing off the walls, her brain flooded with great ideas and crazy plans and cheese and SO MUCH EXCITEMENT!!!
This is usually the funnest part of the day (to watch and experience, like toppling lunch trays loaded with mac and cheese from gesticulatingly wild arm movements) and may come in waves throughout the day.
This is like the first time you get to stay out late with friends, watch that scary movie, or pierce your ears: it's the embodiment of excitement and the reason you wanted to grow up in the first place.
Stage 3: Jitters
Mary tries to take notes, but her hand won't stop shaking. Her feet start tingling because they're falling asleep. She has to tap her toes, skip, run, leap, anything!
This is the stage in which Mary cannot concentrate. Her constant need for movement sometimes overlaps the Energy Stage, but the Jitters State is distinctively shaky and frightening.
This is when you realize growing up might be hard work, and you get nervous; there's college, a job, and relationships to worry about that you didn't have to fuss over before.
Stage 4: Emotional Instability
Much like a dramatic novel, this is the post-happiness part in which everything seems to go terribly wrong. Mary feels rejected, idiotic, confused, and burdensome. She cries or breaks into wild rage often in this stage, creating an almost bi-polar fluctuation between elation and utter despair. "I'm so sorry I am a burden on your life!" "I'm gonna break his neck and then eat his dogs!" and "I've never been so happy!" are exchanged in moments. Withdrawal is probably the case.
This is the stage in which most young adults lose their minds. The pressure is just too much: homework is spewing out your ears, the bills are rolling in faster than the paychecks, and that one loser you dated just dumped you for your best friend.
Stage 5: Regaining Head
Mary can breathe again, her combination of tears and the stitch in her side from laughter eased.
This is the stage in which Mary is most likely to pass out.
Finally, this is the part where your mother comes and offers you cookies; you are slowly coaxed from the fetal position in your paralyzed state and remember that life still goes on.
Stage 6: More!
Mary drops by the McFarland House Café and orders a cappuccino. The cycle starts again...
And another young child has to start the crazy metamorphosis all over.
I am so amused. XD This was a beautiful, bemusing look into coffee, thanks for sharing. It was funny, which I enjoy, and well written, which I love... and now I have cravings.
ReplyDeleteBtw, "... her brain flooded with great ideas and crazy plans and cheese and SO MUCH EXCITEMENT!!!" Um... cheese? Haha! What? ;D Awesome.
This is so interesting. I totally know what you're saying though because I'm also addicted to coffee.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the metaphor of the six stages. It reminds me of the seven stages metaphor about growing up in the Shakespeare play As You Like It. You show check it out.
Overall, very creative blog.
Bravo.
This is such a great blog! very amusing, and still thoughtfull. great job directly relating coffee and growing up, it works really well! and I am a caffiene addict,so I can really relate to this insight. well written too! :) good job
ReplyDelete